Identity? GROWING UP ONLINE

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/kidsonline/

 

Identity is “the distinct personality of an individual regarded as a persisting entity; individuality.”

 [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/identity]

When we first received this project about Blogging and Identity, I was confused about how I should write this. Then I thought about writing my thought as they came. Firstly I will talk about my identity in the world of internet. I personally do not put too much emphasis on my web identity. I do not have a different personality on the web, like Facebook, MSN, IMEEM and WordPress to name a few. Although I do have Facebook, MSN, IMEEM and WordPress I do not put my real name or where I live on these websites. I have my real name for Facebook and WordPress, but not the others. I only talk to my friends and when people whom I do not know add me, and talk to me I block them or simply ignore them. As I said before I do not put too much emphasis on my identity on the net, but I do sometimes express myself through pictures, words and etc. I especially like to appear as a person who loves to read Manga, Anime, watch movies and read lots and lots of books. I would say that I am the sort of person who does not live on the internet or is obsessed because I get bored of the internet easily if I don’t have something useful to do. I usually use the internet for my projects, and reading Manga/Anime, checking email. I don’t like using MSN too much, although I have it, I barely go on it. I check my email, or email my friends who go to my previous High school.

I am not at all like Autumn Edows because she has a totally different identity than her real life. She is very expressive and she does not seem to care what people outside of the blogging world think of her. She gets great comments from other bloggers and they actually like what she does and that makes her happy. In the documentary we see Autumn Edows talk about her past and how she never fitted in with other kids her age. She was going through hard times at that age and the best way for her was to reinvent herself as Autumn Edows on the internet. I personally do not like the way she presented herself to the world of internet because like her parents I thought that she went over the limit. She was dressing very openly and posting half nude pictures of herself on the net. I cannot imagine how and why that might boost up her confidence because she is presenting herself as no less than a regular prostitute. When Autumn Edows’ parents figured out that their daughter uses internet for reasons beyond their knowledge, they as expected of parents, were furious. They made Autumn Edows delete all her pictures from the net and for Autumn Edows it was as though her parents asked her to delete a part of herself. This obviously made her angry at her parents. And it is understandable that she would feel this way, because to her this was her identity and this was how she wanted to be known to others, it gave her a self awareness that she was someone and that people liked her. So it was hard for her to do what her parents asked her to do. To me it is also justified that what her parents did was right because they wanted her safety, they did not want some internet predator chasing after their daughter. They wanted to protect her and that to me is more than understandable. And also because Autumn Edows was very young at the time she started to blog, so therefore, something dreadful could have happened to her; such as some internet predator disguising him/herself as a friend and probably wanted to meet her or something worse. I feel that these types of thoughts were going through her parent’s minds at the time they found out about her blogging. Autumn Edows had two types of personalities. One as Autumn Edows on the net and the other was what her parents perceived her to be in “real” life. From the whole drama of making Autumn Edows delete her pictures, I do not understand why her parents all of a sudden decided that they were fine with her uploading her pictures online again. But then I thought it was probably because she was not acting like her usual self is expected to be in “real” life. And that she probably was not talking to her parents because she was angry that they made her delete her online personality. However, it was her parent’s decision and they thought that letting Autumn Edows do as she wishes online makes her happy, and when their daughter is happy, why shouldn’t they?

I understand that Social Networking’s such as Facebook, WordPress and many others are there for the users to express themselves openly; however I do not think that a person should go beyond the limit, like Autumn Edows has in my opinion. On the other hand, Social Networking sites provide useful information and helps people communicate better. It is also good that we can express ourselves to others through images or writing. But some people go overboard and use internet 24/7. They get so absorbed and obsessed with the blogging or talking to friends, strangers on Facebook, WordPress and others, that they lose sight of reality. Because of this users tend to be more reserved in their real life. They do not socialize or are afraid of saying something wrong or hearing something that they do not want to hear from others. They become social outcasts in reality but they get satisfaction for the fact that someone out there is listening to them and are interested in what this person writes.

Internet affects everyone differently. Another person that was on the documentary was a very young boy around the age of 12 or 14, who committed suicide. He was speaking to strangers and asking them advice about suicide and death. His father went through his internet stuff and found who he was speaking to, and the kind of friends he had online. I felt sorry for this kid because he could have turned to his family for help but rather he choose to speak to complete strangers and ended his life. I do not think that people should go to internet seeking help from depression or the kinds of personal problem they have, rather they should go to a shrink or someone they trust for help. In boys case it clearly showed that this boy had two identities. One on the internet, where one incident shown on the documentary, that the boy’s father says that someone informed him of his sons behaviour on the internet, he had used profanity. His other identity was cheerful and a happy boy at home. His parents never had the idea that their child was going through a rough time and therefore were too late in saving him from himself.

I did not like the fact that this boy was so troubled that he went as far as to kill himself. I do not feel that the internet was at fault here because it wasn’t the internet that told him to kill himself; it was because he couldn’t deal with life anymore. His internal problems had grown far beyond his control and he just wanted to end it and so he took the advice of a stranger and ended his young life.

The internet can be whatever we make it to be. We can say that the internet is harmful or misleading but this is because we use it the wrong way. We use the internet and then blame it if something doesn’t go our way. People recreate themselves on the internet like Autumn Edows. Her parents thought that she shouldn’t post pictures of herself because of the internet predators and stalkers. In spite of the warnings from her parents, she went and did all that. That is how she uses internet and the consequences will eventually catch up to her.  If we use the internet the way we think is right, then we won’t believe what other say about it.

Sometimes when people you think you know do something out of the ordinary, you would think that they are two faced, but it’s one part of their identity that you haven’t seen before and that person feels comfortable to show it. Also one’s identity forms from the type of people we hang around with. We adapt to the different types surrounding quickly because we as human beings want the attention and some just want the acceptance, or simply the acknowledgement that we do belong.

Our family, religious and cultural morals and values define us as an individual and the sort of things we do. If a person acts a certain way before their family members and the exact opposite somewhere else, it could be that they are not comfortable to show their true self.  It can also mean that they need time to understand what is around them and then act accordingly. I had a friend in middle school and she was shy and always careful as to what she said. But when we got to high school, she changed herself into a Gothic person; she was always the same towards me. However, when she was on the internet she would appear as a totally different person. Now that I think about it, she did have problems at home with her parents, but they were never serious. She was Muslim and her parents expected her to be and dress a certain way. So because of the things that we cannot obtain in reality we tend to do it show it on the internet. I believe that her personality that she had online was just another part of her that she wanted to express and she was unable to do it because of her culture and religion.

The internet is a marvellous creation because we can be anywhere at any given time. Our world becomes very petite with the internet, because we can communicate from one end of the world to the next easily. We do not have to be at certain place or even send letter mails anymore because we can network via the internet; such as Hotmail, Gmail, etc.

In conclusion, internet is what we want it to be and we sometimes misuse it and blame it even. But in the end it’s the person who needs a reality check. They need to look into themselves and identity who they are. Humans need to interact with other humans; they can’t just sit in front of their monitors all their lives.  

Word count: 1,813

 

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